Healing is a conscious effort. I've decided that age 29 will be the year of healing myself. It's about embracing the idea of self-care not as the trendy topic in which the world just screams for the justification of fulfilling their impulsive indulgences but rather, coming to terms with my mistakes, not looking back on anger, choosing something new, and understanding that I can't make everyone happy all the time. It's about realizing that I cannot stretch myself thin 24/7 to the point where I have to grant myself full reprieve temporarily and escape. Self-care shouldn't be about escape but rather, it should primarily be about starting to re-wire my life in a way where I no longer am chained to four walls of doubt, anger, stress and my own mounting pressure when I cannot reach my goals.
It's going to be about starting to live an everyday life where I don't need therapy to recover from or escape from. My life isn't going to be about what looks good but rather, what actually feels good to me.
My indulgences are no longer an escape from reality or even a method of self-care, it's just another small additional way to enjoy life. Real self-care begins at home and starting to replenish, revolutionize, reflect, rehabilitate, renew, and most importantly, realizing what's really important to me over all else, even if it means it might disappoint others. But again, I'm not here to please others anymore or be universally liked. It's about meeting my own needs so I'm no longer dependent on others. It's about becoming the person I know I want and am meant to be.
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