I don't get it. I had a pretty good thing going on for the last quarter of senior year. 

• I am a Dean's List student athlete
• Scholar Athlete of the Month in April
• Write for the most widely read student media publication on campus out of the 30 different newspapers established for the university
• Had a great job offer lined up after I graduated which paid $650 a week plus had housing paid for
• I'm graduating in 2 weeks

And yet, I still hate the shit out of life and I can't be bothered doing any of it anymore. I thought I was living my 20 year old self's dream. I guess I'm not, by not making the most of it. I am falling the fuck apart, and I don't seem to care. 

Maybe what I wanted so badly at one point in my life isn't something I want anymore.

All of these things may not seem like big deals or accomplishments to most people but it was for me, and that's all that mattered.