Things I should set aside

I don't write anymore because I've been way too taken by everything else going on in my life. Maybe that's why I've been so unhappy. I set aside the things that used to make me happy to trade them in for things that don't make me happy and if anything, stress me out in even more. Why do I keep prioritizing the stressful things in my life ahead of the things that actually make me happy? That's how you should know you need to quit. When it starts taking over the actual important things in your life, like getting enough sleep, being able to hold it together instead of busting at the seams at the slightest drop of a hat, setting aside time for yourself to gather your sanity, time with family and friends, and learning to let things go rather than letting it add and build up to the burdens that are already taking over your life, that's how you know it's time.

The harder I work, the worse things become. But then again I keep holding myself to a certain standard every day. I don't let myself rest on any laurels because I feel like I have no laurels. I have to be the best at all times. If not, then there's no point in doing anything. That's how I see it. And when I fail at that, it makes me feel like I'm not cut out for the job, or this wasn't the job for me. I have to constantly be tenacious, but I feel like the more I try to be just that, the less I accomplish.

So counterproductive.

How do I separate things in my life so that I can evenly disperse an equal amount of sanity into one area over another, rather than putting in every ounce of my sanity and brainpower into one thing so that it leaves little room in other things?

For example.

Emotions in my personal life--things that affect me that aren't career-related. Because I haven't let myself evenly disperse an equal amount of effort into anything else outside of work, it keeps me from thinking rationally. When things affect me in my work life, it starts pouring into my personal life.

"What makes you happy?"

When I'm successful or reached my goals. Nothing makes me happier than those two things.

Except, unfortunately, the road to success isn't an easy one. Everyone already told you that, since you were a little kid.

Fun Fact-- just as I tried writing about how I want to take a break from a lot of things in life, mid-writing I began looking for jobs on JournalismJobs.com This is insane. I can't even get away from myself. Set things aside my ass--I clearly have no idea what I'm doing to even get there.

I guess I'll never find out.