I don't know anymore. It's the final stretch. I don't know where my motivation lies, or if I even have any left, or if I'm just so burnt out from the worst past four months of my life, in my entire academic career. I don't know where my sanity went with just two weeks in the semester remaining, how I'll even be able to scrape up my final assignments, or how to muster up the last ounce of strength I have left.

And then after I go home and refresh for three weeks, I'll be shipped out to Louisville to do this again for the next three months. It'll be just like school, except worse. It'll be even more difficult, because this time, they can actually fire me. It'll be another harrowing semester, except my classes this time will be from 9-5 p.m. plus overtime during the week and on weekends.

All of this for the sake of getting any experience with a major news outlet, living in a brand new city for the first time in my life all alone, (again) and to just perhaps have a chance to get my name out the door and make a good enough possible impression on my future employers if they, in a million years, just might want to see they can offer a job for me after I graduate from my program.

And if not, then I won't know where I went wrong or whether this was all even worth the stress, the outbreak of shingles, heart palpitations, and perpetual anxiety.

I look at the people in my program around me and I feel like I'm not doing enough, and yet I'm absolutely spent on the very last minute of my schedule. I keep telling myself nobody's had a worse semester than I have, and I'm ready to bet money on it. And yet, I still keep getting this inkling feeling that I'm not doing enough. Why is that?

This is the life I chose. This is the life I thought I wanted. This is the life I signed up for. This is the life God gave me.

Let's make the most of it, stress, pain, disappointment, hardships, trials and tribulations and all.