submitted my very first grad app today. instead of feeling relieved, i feel even worse after clicking submit. i had to lie down to relax my brain and shut it off but it went crazy while i fell asleep for about an hour. it went insane. i had horrible nightmares and i dreamed that there were a roundtable full of people critiquing the hell out of my writing sample and all my personal essays. it was the worst.

6 months of this. go figure. i can't even begin to describe how much worse my nightmares and headache and levels of stress will get when admission seasons starts in March.

yep. yep yep yep.