It's only been 2 days since I started working and already my new job is stressing me the fuck out so bad. I haven't been getting any sleep at night which isn't helping my situation at all. My brain shuts down and I can't think properly. I feel like I'm doing a terrible job and not making the most of my time at work. I spend too much time on one project. I need to show that I'm productive. I make too many mistakes already. I know I'm new but still I shouldn't have to make these mistakes I'm 23 years old! I can't have people holding my hand. There are no excuses. I'm coming off as a bitch to everyone...a crazy raving lunatic bitch. I'm socially awkward and shy. I'm supposed to be likable but that's the last characteristic anybody in the workplace probably thinks I have. I accidentally made myself look like an idiot in front of both my bosses today. I bet they regret hiring me so fucking much and want the old intern back whom I replaced. I feel so fucking stupid every minute of the day. It's so hard not having a defeated attitude but nothing seems to be looking up. Every hour I do something dumber than what I did before. I always manage to top myself. And last of all, nobody wants to be around me because I have a personality equivalent to a diaper filled with shit. I am literally the perfect picture of what an intern isn't supposed to be like.

Maybe I'm just behaving stupidly because I haven't been sleeping. This always seems to happen. Sleep is so important.

Do you ever get mad at yourself because you aren't even good at the things you thought you were good at?