One shitstorm after another

Three shit-storms over the course of just two months. Why, why why. That is the question. And yet once again, in the midst of on the brink of losing loved ones to illnesses, my heart gets broken and abandoned again, and yet once again, who's left to pick up the pieces alone? That's right. Seems like the trend is, I'm supposed to endure two heartbreaks a year on average. Who says that's the median or average? I don't want that average in my life. That's a terrible rate of heartbreak. Who decided that barometer?

How is it possible that even the ones that fell for ME, extremely hard, also end up being the ones to leave me first? How is that fair? How is that possible? Why is that always happening to me? No matter how much someone falls for me first, and becomes obsessed with me, at the end of the day, they realize they don't want to fight for me anymore, despite liking me THAT much. Now that, I'll never, ever understand. At least I'm consistent--at least I try to stick around liking someone that I know I liked in the beginning. Maybe its the universe trying to tell me that this is the way it'll work in my life, otherwise I'll end up wanting to stay with the one same person forever without realizing that there are better options out there. That seems to be right. After all I've only been able to get over people not by choice but rather, because I'm forced to. Because the other person wanted to get over me, and didn't like me anymore, so I had to work on moving on, too, even though I wasn't ready to. I just have no choice. The other people made that choice for me. I wasn't ready to leave this situation yet, but I now have to, because he doesn't want to be with me anymore, despite being obsessed with me, to the point of jealousy and manipulation. All of it is so strange.

I guess this is the way it should be--the fact that the other person has to remind me that they're not the ones for me, so I have no choice but to get over them. Otherwise, I'd still end up pining over someone from my kindergarten class or something, I suppose. What a wry viewpoint.

My life is just one never-ending stream of predictability after another. When will the madness end?

Never, I suppose.