oddly enough i don't know how i feel or how to feel. i think i'm just angry

angry at myself for being angry
i'm so unbelievably angry
i honestly couldn't believe it
maybe i should've rephrased it in a different manner
but i was so angry that i didn't care
of course that just blew out of proportion
so now once again i'm seen as the bad guy

i feel tired and conflicted because i feel remorseful
but only half
the other half i'm still angry
i feel as though i shouldn't be
and that i should be wholly remorseful
as much as i am,
i am still also very very angry.
and i don't know how to let that anger subside
i cried because i couldn't form my emotions into words
there was no way
no explanation
no other method to portray how bloody angry i was
i think i burst a blood vessel

maybe i shouldn't have pulled the stunts i did
or said the things i said
i shouldn't have been so disrespectful
but anger makes you do a lot of
i don't even know.

you really couldn't understand how angry i was
that i felt compelled to say what i did?
now that's what makes me angry
you say the same things over and over
which yes i understand that i should know not to do
and that i am not perfect
but the fact that you can't seem to understand why
i said the things i did
and why i became so angry in the first place
those accusations

i can't.