Men are weak. Men are weak creatures. They be weak ass bitches.

No, but seriously. This is something I discovered just now, or maybe more so I've always realized it but it never really struck me quite clearly until this present moment.

Forget what they tell you, what with that bullshit that women are weaker, or that we're more emotional, needy, or dependent. Or crazy. Or lonely. Whatever. Pick out whatever adjective you prefer. It doesn't matter. (Think, to The Office episode Ben Franklin when the actor playing a BF impersonator tells Michael Scott that "women are the gentler sex.") What?! Whatever gave one of the greatest countrymen in the history of the U.S., along with the rest of the male population that crazy idea?!

Women aren't crazy. Women aren't needy. Women aren't completely dependent on the love of someone else. At least, we aren't the only ones. Men are just as lonely, needy, emotional, and dependent on the love of someone else. I'll tell you that right now. We will debunk the myth.

I hate to bring in a real-life example, but it is with this real life example where I've finally reached enlightenment, where I've finally made the stunning discovery about men.

So a few years ago, there was a Guy A. We fooled around for about a year and a half, then called it quits around the time he got a girlfriend and I left for college. We didn't speak or see each other for 2 years. I literally didn't see him until this past June. Of course in between, he was with that same relationship all along while I met several guys here and there, a few of whom sparked my interest but never really took very seriously, or it just flat out didn't work out. Whatever pathetic reasons I have for not maintaining a stable relationship throughout college, it didn't matter. What mattered was that I was able to survive college without having to rely on a man. And I felt proud. I saw so many hearts break, especially during the impending date of graduation. It just happens, man. You can't revolve your life around one person when you're so young and it's time to step out into the real world. If that person's up to join you, then by all means. But until then, you know that your relationship has an expiration date.

Anyway, that isn't the point of my post. Or wait, is it? The fact that I have that mindset proves that I'm one of the powerful, strong women in this world who don't feel the need to depend on someone to get their life going. If anything, after a lot of hard lessons learned along the way, I was actually sort of relieved that I never got too emotionally involved with anyone. I was able to focus on myself, and be free.

So, as I digress with Guy A.

I saw him during the summer for the first time in about 2 years after a random phone call and text he sent me 2 days after I moved back home. He'd gotten a new number, and during the course of our conversation over the phone, he mentioned about 7 different times that he'd broken up with his girlfriend of 2 years. My initial response? Um, okay, good for you...what makes you think I give a shit?

It was weird hearing from him, simply because we weren't friends anymore. I didn't really consider him a friend because he was out of my life for so many years. I couldn't even fathom the fact that I used to actually have FEELINGS for the guy. He was so pathetic; everything about him was pathetic. His mindset, his the-world-owes-me-so-fuck-you attitude, and the mindset he had, where he thought he could do no wrong. It was so conceited, so dumb, so shallow, and I was beyond petulant any time he opened his mouth to speak. I can't stand dumb guys. I remember looking at him and thinking, "What in the actual fuck was I thinking? What the hell kind of drug was I on? What on earth ever made me attracted to you?"

Good question.

After that, he kept after me and after me. I mean it. He would call me late at night, at least 4 times a night, between the hours of 10PM-4AM. I'm not kidding. I couldn't be making this up if I tried. He'd call me about 3 times at once, even when I wouldn't pick up. He'd keep calling. He'd call me at 9PM sometimes, and then he'd keep calling until 3 AM. I didn't get it. What the fuck? Why aren't you asleep? Why are you even awake?! On finally, what on actual earth makes you think I'd be awake?! He's nuts!

Now, I wasn't really sure what he was after. I picked apart his strange behavior with several of my friends whom I used to disclose our private relationship to 4 years ago when we first started getting involved with this mess. I'd show them the call logs of insane hours of the night when he'd call, I'd show them his texts, and I'd tell them, "he's fucking crazy!"

So finally, one day, I relented (after telling him he couldn't call me at 3AM anymore.) I told him to meet me at the nearby Starbucks so we could talk extensively and so it'd give me the opportunity to tell him in person that he couldn't do this anymore, and to just find out exactly what was prompting him to start reaching out to me when clearly it's been so long since we've spoken.

We finally met in person and all he did was cry and whine about his girlfriend and how he can't sleep at night because of his thoughts about her. He told me he was so lonely. I already knew this about him. He's one of those guys who literally can't go a week without a girlfriend by his side. He pretty much asked me for advice. What the hell makes you think I'm good at any type of advice about dating? But I decided to help his pathetic ass out anyway. Whatever.

And now, fast forward to Fall of 2013. He's now with another girl, and I couldn't be happier for him. I'm so glad that he's not lonely anymore and that he's found another girl to depend on. /sarcasm.

This is the point I'm trying to drive home: most guys, at least guys like him, can't go a period of time without a relationship. And once they're out of a relationship, they'll constantly look for another one right away, rather than giving that phone a rest. They're out to look for the next best thing to soothe them, to fill their void, to be another type of solace. They literally can't function without someone there. They can't move on with their life, or believe that their life has any meaning unless they have a girlfriend to share their life with. Golly, don't you want some breathing room? Don't you want some time to yourself? Don't you want to enjoy being single? I understand that you're super desperate after someone left you, but honestly speaking, slow down there, Eager McDesperateson. Don't jump into something unless you're fully ready. Because then, when you start talking to potential girls again, the feeling you have are only surface deep. You'll start comparing them to your last or at least more inclined to because you're fresh out of a relationship. You're not ready, but you think you are. You're only looking for someone because you're afraid to be alone.

And that's what Guy A's problem was. He was terrified of being alone. He's told me this so many times over the past 4 years I've known him, and I can't help but feel so pathetically sorry for him. He's so pathetic. He really is. I don't have anymore feelings for him at all left in my body (they left a long time ago) but if there is any ounce of feeling I have towards of him, it's the feeling of pity. I feel so bad for him because he will never know how to live life without depending on someone else. He's weak, emotionally and mentally. He can't be happy unless someone else can make him happy. His entire mood and reason for being is entirely reliant on someone else's existence. How fucking terribly sad is that?

So let me reiterate my summation of this post: men are JUST as needy. Men are JUST as dependent. Men are JUST as desperate. Don't let anyone get away with saying that women are way more emotional sex, because it's simply not always true. I know plenty of independent women who can find it easy to move on and function with their lives without a man by their side. If you find love, that's fantastic. But if you can't find it, then that's fine too, just don't go looking for it. If you're broken up, but you've healed completely and you've moved on, and something just happens to stumble across your life, and it's a really great significant other that makes you forget about your past skeletons, then why not? Embrace it, enjoy it! But only if you know you're ready, and you don't want someone just for the sake of having someone.

And that's what Guy A needs to learn. He will never learn to be happy by himself, and that in itself is a reflection on how he sees himself. That's what I've always believed. People look for things to depend on because of their low self-esteem and lack of confidence in themselves. They need someone else to be a positive reinforcement in their lives, when in reality they should be their own cheerleaders, be able to pat their own backs, and to make themselves happy.

So women, let's raise a toast to all the douches who keep pointing their fingers at us, calling us crazy, emotional, needy, sad, lonely, or dependent, and let's raise a middle finger back at them as well. Now that's the pot calling the kettle black, don't you think?