I spent a lot of time with my grandmother's sister as well this past week. She was my nanny for 6 months when I used to live in Korea. She and my grandmother raised me when my parents were in the States. She hadn't seen me since I was about 3 years old, and I was reunited with my nanny after 20 years. Funny enough she recognized me right away when she saw me at my grandmother's funeral home. I almost cried. I remember after the crematorium on the day of my grandmother's funeral, my eldest uncle handed her the beautiful vase with the remains of my grandmother's bones and ashes, and she held onto her older sister and cried. Yesterday at the restaurant after we revisited my grandmother's gravesite one last time, I asked her if she was the only surviving member out of her siblings. She said yes. 

Even after everyone left outside for a quick smoke break or to talk with each other I stayed by my grandmother's sister's side and didn't leave. I didn't want to leave. I told her that she is the closest thing to my grandmother that I had left. She is the closest kin. She is the closest bloodline, and being near her helped me feel closer to my grandmother. I told her I wanted to still keep in touch and write her letters, the way I couldn't with my grandmother while she was still living. I told her that I regret it so much, but now I know better. As soon as I said that, she held onto my hand and squeezed it tight. 

I'm glad I got to reconnect with my nanny. She and my grandmother were all I had when I was a toddler. When my own parents couldn't take care of me because they were too busy with work, she and my grandmother raised me. They saw me grow. 

I'm going to make them both proud of me. I will. I promise I will.