First.

I've recently left another social networking blog type site that I had been faithfully and furiously scribbling in for almost 3 years now. I never dreamed this day would come but then again, there were a lot of days where things I didn't expect had happened. Closing an old book and beginning a brand new chapter in a brand new book surprisingly feels right. It's just one of those things where you realize that social networking sites just can't seem to keep up with your ADD, you're constantly bored, and you yearn to move on to better things as soon as you tire of the old ones. Blogging sites are no exception, but you just realize with age that you can't stay the same forever. I'm happy with the subscribers I met on my old site but I want to just start fresh and create an entirely new one from scratch, back at square 1. I left a huge Internet following because it simply did not make me happy anymore. I was willing to leave all of that and embrace a new blog where I knew no one and had no followers or anyone to read what I'm sharing, but that's exactly what I want. I remember I was a lot happier on my old blog, having less than 40 followers when I first started out but blogging on it still made me happy regardless of the amount of subscribers I had. The few who always enjoyed my posts were all that I needed. However, as my blog reached a peak at its popularity and the number of subscribers grew to its hundreds, two hundreds, three hundreds, four hundreds, and so on, I no longer was happy. I felt like I had to put up a front. Here I have the comfort of knowing that I'm writing for no one else but myself, which I had forgotten how to do over the past few years.

It pains me to see that the friends that I have made who have been nothing but faithful to me, following and reading my posts since day 1 will probably no longer be able to keep in contact with me until they somehow find me on Blogger. But I don't lose hope...if we were meant to stay friends, fate will find a way. It always does, funnily enough.

My old experiences on my previous blog has affected me in so many ways that I can't describe into words and I've developed amazing friendships, met some awesome people on the way, gained a type of support system I can't find anywhere else but as so many wise scholars have said, the beauty of things must be that they end. I have over 200 draft texts saved up on my old blog site from over a year ago but they will probably never end up seeing the light of day. I've always looked for the "right time" to publish these drafts but the right time never came. That's when I realized that it was probably time for me to end this journey for the present; when you feel the need to have to find the appropriate time to share your true thoughts and feelings, that's when you know the "magic" you once created with your following has vanished, especially when you feel as though you have to watch what you say and when you say it. That's just what happens when time goes on and your followers/subscribers start getting to know you in a personal way.

Internet blogging has always been a sort of comfort to me but as soon as I started gaining a mass trend of followers, I felt as though I needed an image to keep up. I never knew what it felt like to write what I felt, for fear that someone would judge me or send me Anonymous hate. These things shouldn't worry me too much nor should it interest me but I feel as though I owe it to myself to write whatever makes me happy. I used to write to practice for my future dream jobs, making sure that the general public would enjoy what I posted every day but eventually that became a tiresome chore, and soon enough I became bored with it. What I'm hoping to get out of this site however, is not necessarily the amount of subscribers I'll gain, the friendships I'll create, but more the measurement of my own happiness. I've never been the type of person to take my own happiness into account, and spilling my thoughts in an online journal is no exception, especially when you have "followers to please."

Either way, we'll see how this project goes.